CONNECTING WITH OTHERS: -A Key to Success and Happiness

  • Success does not lead to a higher level of happiness.

  • Happiness leads to a higher level of success.

  • Connection with other people leads to more success and happiness.

Recently a 13 year old student told me that today students have pressure to perform well.
I asked “Why?”
She stated that it is difficult to get accepted into postsecondary educational institutes.
They demand higher marks and often other accomplishments as well.
There seems to be more competition in schools.

Another cause is the increase of exposure to social media and the 24 hour news.
We see what others are doing and compare ourselves to them.
Comparing ourselves to others can be a slippery slope.
There will always be someone faster, smarter or better than us.
Comparing ourselves to others can be detrimental to our self image.
Theodore Roosevelt stated, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This can be true often.
There are increasing levels of depression and anxiety in the younger generations.
Rather than being in the late twenties as it was a few decades ago, depression can now be seen in teenage years.


I was listening to an interview of Shawn Achor.
Shawn Achor is a happiness researcher, author, and speaker. He is known for his advocacy of positive psychology.

Shawn stated:

  • Success does not lead to a higher level of happiness.

  • Happiness leads to a higher level of success.

  • Trying to be successful and happy on your own will often leads to burnout.

  • Connection with other people is the key to more success and happiness.

  • When in an optimistic and grateful group we too are more optimistic and grateful.

  • Learning to work with and connect with others are key skills.

  • Thanking other group members for their help and support is fundamental.

  • Having a supportive group enables success.

  • Social connection is the greatest buffer against depression

  • Stop comparative praise when you compare your results with other people’s.

  • When we realize we are not alone and we can do this together, and if we shine together, we are going to shine a lot brighter.

The recording of Shawn Achor on the Secret to Reaching Big Potential can be found below at:


Our online group sessions promote building positive and supportive groups.
We will give each other kudos at the end of the session to show what we appreciate from the other participants.

If you have not watched an example of an online session you can do so on our website at:

What are your thoughts about how group sessions can assist young people?

Please make your comments and suggestions in the comments section below.


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Every child deserves a wonderful future.

Fred Jones

Victoria, BC Canada

Fred Jones

Fred Jones

Posted in Blog and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , .

One Comment

  1. Hi Fred,
    What wonderful advice. I will be sharing this with my adult club members. So often new members compare themselves to other members who have been in Toastmasters for years. This comparison only adds to their feelings of having poor speaking skills. Comparison only adds to their anxiety of getting up and speaking again.
    We all need to read the words of Shawn Achor over and over until they become part of our fabric. We all need to put the personal joy of doing something first rather than having to reach the bar someone else has set.

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